SANTA BABY JESUS WANTS YOU TO GIVE THE GIFT OF NORTH KOREA THIS YEAR!

I'm not talking about those "What happens in North Korea stays in North Korea!" t-shirts you've come to know and love.

I'm not talking about Kim Jong Il's "So long and say 'Thanks for all the fish!'" gift.

No, I'm talking schlocky tchotchkes - and movies! - from the DPRK itself!  

On the other hand, you can get  North Korean-safe products - products in which no North Koreans were harmed in the manufacture of the product.

Santa Claus of course, likes to dress in red, so either way, I'm sure he wouldn't mind...

Sweet Baby Santa Claus! Look at the wonderful shopping gifts and goodies you can get

There's a website called Amazon.com, and they sell everything but humans, it seems.  And live animals it seems.

You can't buy an live elephant there, sadly.

But you can buy books, and cameras and jewelry and coffins, and perfume and milk and...

Buy! Buy!

Buy some animal toys!

Buy a Buick metal key chain!

Buy a coffin cake pan!

Life is so short, it's so sad that there's so much to buy.

But buy it anyway!

It's ANOTHER SEASON FOR MAGICAL BABY JESUS SANTA CHRISTMAS!

YES, SUMMER'S NOT OVER BUT IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR SANTA TO VISIT...AGAIN!

THINK OF AL THE GREAT PRESENTS HE WILL BRING!

SMART WATCHES!

SMART PHONES!

SMART CLOTHES!

SO BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY!